


find your words

by CostcoOfYourDreams



Series: the meaning of love [1]
Category: AI: The Somnium Files (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Post-Canon, Spoilers, True Ending Spoilers, partners, relationship between date and aiba is not supposed to be romantic at all i just they're, watch me cry about date and aiba 2k19, you know?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 17:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21040064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CostcoOfYourDreams/pseuds/CostcoOfYourDreams
Summary: There are words Date needs to say.Aiba knows without him saying them.





	find your words

**Author's Note:**

> if you didn't see the tags, major spoilers for true ending!

There are a thousand ways Date wishes he could say goodbye. He wishes he didn’t have to say goodbye at all, but there’s no time, no choice, no words. 

Aiba is waiting patiently, staring at him through the screen of a phone and not through his eye. There’s only so long she can wait, though, only so long until Saito…

Ota’s staring at him imploringly. He doesn’t  _ know _ , though, doesn’t know that though this will save Hitomi’s life, what it will cost will be beyond what a single man can pay. 

Aiba knows too what this will cost, is probably more aware of it than Date. For this moment, at least. He knows that he will be aware of what he will pay for the rest of his life. 

He tries to speak through the lump in his throat, tries to say all the things he never got to, but he doesn’t have time. Doesn’t have the words, either. What  _ can  _ he say? 

“41205,” he says, and the words slip out involuntarily. He doesn’t want to! Hitomi-- Hitomi is a lover from a past life, but Aiba… Aiba is his partner, has been his partner for five long years, has been there with him every step of the way as he built his new identity from the ground up. He remembers the first year after he lost his memories, of stumbling blindly at every step, never sure if the decisions he was making were the right ones. He doesn’t want to go through that alone again. 

Aiba was one of the best things to ever happen to him. Despite her constant nagging and how she would use any given opportunity to scold him, he always knew she was on his side. 

And now, it is time to say goodbye. 

How do you say goodbye to someone like that? He has to let her know what she is to him, how much he wishes there could be another way, another option. ‘

A lie, he has to tell a lie. What can he say? 

“I…” he begins, but his throat seizes. 

“I…” he tries, but his eyes water. 

“I…” he whispers, but his heart clenches. 

“I hate you, Aiba,” he says, but no tears fall. “I hate you and I never want to see you again.” 

He looks at the phone screen that Ota is holding up. This is the last time, and he can’t even see her through his own eye. 

She’s smiling, a gentle smiles that softens her eyes and lets him know that she understands as well as he does what she is doing, and how much it will hurt. 

“Second command confirmed,” she says, and her voice is quiet. Her small smile blooms into one that stretches across her face, and her eyes close. She can’t cry, and neither can he, but this is as close as the two of them will ever get. “I understand.”

Date chokes on air and tightens his grip on the rail in front of him. She understands, and he is so, so grateful that she knows everything she meant to him, and how he wishes--

Saito has his gun pressed to Hitomi’s head. He’s about to say something, but--

His head explodes. Rather,  _ Aiba _ explodes, taking Saito’s head with her. 

Date doubles over like he’s been punched, his grip on the rail the only thing that is keeping him standing. Ota puts a hesitant hand on his shoulder, unknowing of the price that has been paid. 

Date bites his lip and moves to Hitomi. 

* * *

It is months later, and Date still hasn’t adjusted to life without Aiba. His fake eye is fine, but it’s limiting. It isn’t gaudy at all. 

Iris wants him to take her to visit all of the people who visited her in the hospital. She calls him ‘Uncle’ now. Date wants to tell her that he’s not who he was, hardly remembers what they once shared, but his mouth stays closed. Iris has been through enough, spent most of her life chasing the shadow of the man she once called Uncle. Date doesn’t have the guts to tell her that the man she once loved is dead. Hitomi-- Hitomi knows, and when Iris says she wants to visit her mom before anything else, Date agrees, but his stomach sinks. 

The visit is short. Hitomi is kind and polite, but when they leave Iris asks him when she can stop calling him uncle. Date can’t answer her, so he doesn’t. She doesn’t deserve news like that right after her surgery. Maybe one day he will learn to love Hitomi the way Falco used to, but today is not that day. 

They visit everyone Date has ever been close to that day. Hitomi, Mizuki, Ota, Mayumi, Mama, Moma, Boss-- even Pewter is there. Only one person is missing. 

When they see Mizuki, she frowns, because she’s seen the way Date is around their apartment, and sees the way Date tries. He tries to be his best for her, but there are times when he’ll suddenly go silent because he’s waiting for a reply that will never come. 

When he and Iris leave, he sees Iris and Mizuki whispering conspiratorially. Date doesn’t pay any attention until he leaves when Mizuki waves at him despite their argument and gives him a smug smirk. 

He asks Iris what they were talking about, and she tells him to wait. Then Date gets knocked out by Pewter and he doesn’t think about it until much later. 

The Sagan Residence, Lemniscate, the Sunfish Pocket, the Matsushita Diner, Golden Yokocho, ABIS, and then Iris asks him to take her to the docks by the Okiura Fishery Cold Storage. It’s an odd request, but Date complies. It’s not like he has anything better to do.

Iris tells him to close his eyes, and he does, but feels a cold fear in his chest. Is she…? He opens his eyes when prompted and--

He cries. It’s all he can do. It’s _her_, she’s _here_\-- 

He thanks a god he doesn’t believe in. 

Aiba smiles at him. “It’s been a long time, Kaname Date.” She knows what he’s thinking,  _ always _ does, what a pain in his ass. 

As the tears stream down his face, he starts to talk but the words get stuck in his throat. 

“Ah…” is all he can say. He knows he sounds like someone who was just crying, but he doesn’t care, Aiba is here, she’s alive.

“At a time like this,” he says, wiping the tears away, “I-- I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say.” And Aiba smiles back at him as he stumbles over his words, and he jokes, and they fight, and everything left unsaid is not left unknown, because they are here, they are now, and beyond everything else, beyond swapped bodies, and secret societies, and forgotten lives, they are together once again, and that is enough for Date. 

**Author's Note:**

> you know how i just published an ai fic? here's another.  
in all seriousness, i really enjoyed writing this! the bit where date had to tell a lie stuck with me. so here this is. i hope you enjoyed, and if you did please leave a comment! i really do read all of them. thank you for reading!


End file.
